Writing It Right: Killing the -lys Kindly
by Carolynn Carey
In their book entitled Self-Editing for Fiction Writers: How to Edit Yourself into Print, Renni Browne and Dave King include a section on the need for writers to edit out dialogue explanations that take the form of –ly adverbs. Too many fiction writers, they say, “tend to pepper their dialogue with –lys,” possibly due to a lack of confidence on the part of the writer or possibly due to simple laziness.
So what’s the problem with using –ly adverbs in dialogue? We’ve all written them: “she said grimly”; “he said harshly”; “she said longingly.” The problem, as explained by Browne and King, is that the emotion should be contained in the dialogue, not smuggled into speaker attributions.
Of course, like most rules, this one has an exception. Some adverbs, such as “softly” or “clearly,” modify the verb and they’re fine to use. As Browne and King explain: “You don’t say something grimly in the same sense that you say something softly. The grimness comes across more by what you say and do—through word choice, body language, context—than by how you say it.”
This, of course, gets into the admonition we hear so often: “Show, Don’t Tell.” Browne and King conclude by saying, “You need to show the grimness, to show what your character does that makes him seem grim.” When you write “he said grimly,” you’re actually saying that he felt grim about what he had just said.
I’ll be the first to admit that it’s tempting to toss in an adverb. It’s so much easier to write “she said coyly” than to look for ways to express her coyness. But I’ll also admit that the easy way cheats the reader, so I for one will be watching for those –lys that are inappropriate and getting rid of them.
Copyright © Carolynn Carey.
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